Do you know of moments before nervous Joe or nervous Mary is about to take on the stage to perform in front of a crowd? Then a close friend or colleague trying to be supportive goes, “if you’re nervous, just picture everybody naked” …I mean, that friend can’t be serious, right? Because, if you’re anything like me, you’ll understand this– nothing pretzels my brain like nudity. I’m not talking about nudity on Instagram or whatever hub you source your porn from, no! I am talking about real-life situations kind of nudity; like when your friend walks in the room from taking a shower and before you excuse yourself, away flies the towel– or when you accidentally open someone’s door having forgotten to knock. A naked butt is the first thing you see, and then you have to instantly lock the door and quickly resume your life like that didn’t happen. I get nervous and anxious when faced with spontaneous nudity. I remember conversing with a friend of mine who I admire so much for how comfortable she is with her naked body-she changes comfortably and freely around her girlfriends. I told her how being in the presence of a naked person observing makes me uncomfortable. I’ll be there trying not to pay attention to details or trying not to stare at all, but we all know how the mind works; the more you’re trying not to think about something, the more you’re actively thinking about it.
Here’s my thought process once someone decides to unleash their naked body in my presence unabashedly, “what direction do I face?” I know the obvious answer is any other direction, yes, but no! My brain’s too busy being frozen to even think in that socially awkward moment. I mean, this person has purposely gotten naked in front of me, oblivious of the fact that we’re probably in the middle of a conversation. “I should probably make eye contact and keep my eyeballs fixated…argh! What amount of normal am I supposed to act when putting invisible clothes on you to filter my eyes? Why am I the only one feeling the weird energy, and I’m not the naked one?” It’s like being uneasy about the spotlight when you’re not the one on stage. It doesn’t make sense at all. It leaves me with no choice but to roll my eyes back and forth around the room we’re at, trying to figure out whether to make eye contact or tame my eyes not to get vivid imagery; however, that will cause divided attention. You’ll be there trying to talk to me about something deep, and I can’t keep my brain from mapping out your naked body features and processing the details, then just like that, before I can shake it off, pap! I am lost in a weird train of thought that I didn’t even sign up for. I dare not to remember about boarding school and the communal showers. There was never a better time to dive into oblivion– a scorpion could be making its way to your nether regions, and I literally wouldn’t notice regardless of our proximity.
Well, it is in our nature to shy away from situations that make us feel vulnerable, which is what nudity does, putting you a little too out there in a way that makes you feel uneasy. In my case, perhaps to the point of projecting my vulnerabilities onto others. Because why be bothered and uncomfortable about someone else’s naked body? Is it not some twisted way created by my subconscious to bring to light the insecurities I did not know I had? Funny enough, I am an aspiring nudist- I entertain the thought of going to a nudist beach one day, skinny dipping and all sorts of nudist activities that can only be achieved by someone totally in love with their naked body. We live in a society where nudity is almost frowned upon. From a tender age, we are taught the utter need to cover up, especially for women, without mentioning how important it is to love and embrace your naked form, even just in private. This is why we have so many adults who walk around projecting their insecurities by body shaming others. However, I applaud how far we’ve come as a society because we now have several people on online platforms who impact body positivity.
Body positivity is the mere act of recognizing that one should be comfortable with different body types without passing judgement; whether onto oneself or to others. It is the understanding that all body shapes and sizes need a little more love and less judgment. Even though we have so many influencers, and people with a huge online following preaching the gospel of body positivity, it’s been a brutal awakening. It is something that society hasn’t yet agreed to come to terms with. Humanity is still secretly clinging to the media-imposed standards of how excellent or sexy looking bodies should be. Unfortunately, we cannot solve the wacky society ideologies all at once. Still, we can begin to impact change one naked body at a time by learning how to embrace your uniquely curated naked form.
Tips on how to embrace your naked body:
We all like to dance around naked in front of the mirror while chanting our daily affirmations–we do, right? (Chuckles nervously) It is not just me, yeah? Okay, okay… Try not to roll your eyes back so much and give it a try sometime. It does wonders on your connection with self and, in turn, changes how you feel when naked in front of someone else- for the better. It changes you from the self-criticizing, insecure person you’re used to seeing in your reflection on the mirror to a confident, self-loving human being. Here are some mindful approaches to help you in your journey towards embracing your naked body and building a strong connection with self:
- Spare some few minutes before or after your shower to vibe with your naked body.
Shower time is very sacred to me. It’s a time where, as I cleanse myself, I also take time to release negative energy and usher in some positive energy. I can’t think of a time I’ve been in the shower and felt angry or even anxious. I prefer to squeeze in some naked me-time before I take a shower now and then so I can uninterruptedly vibe with my body. In this me-time, I acknowledge my naked body features, and I ensure to remain less critical. Why do I do it before my showers? For one, time management–getting ready to step out is a pain in my ass. Secondly, it makes sequential sense to me that way; the shower is just going to be an extension of my naked me-time. That way, I’ll be under the shower, with water dripping on me while I dance, feel my body and get cleaned up at the same time. It makes the entire process sensual.
- Put on a sexy, preferably slow jam to enhance the vibe.
Picture this, you’re standing somewhere in your room, you’ve just undressed, and you’re now reaching out for your towel when a sexy jam starts to play in the background. For a minute there, you are tempted to vibe to the song, but you don’t succumb to the feeling. Now shake that thought off where you don’t let yourself vibe naked to a sexy song, picture this instead, away flies the towel and up in the air your arms go. Slowly, you sway your body side to side. Eyes closed, you fall deeper into this sensational vibration, and your arms gently come down, caressing through your face, moving even further down to feel the warmth of your touch–could be on your arms, chest, waist or your hips. The entire time, you vibe, lost in the moment, busking in your very own existence through this vessel; your body, your naked body!
- Be in the moment.
When you’re in that wavelength, vibrating to your energy with a sexy song in the background; with every touch, every caress, really take time to notice how your body feels.
- Be kind to yourself.
I have to insist on this; you’re working on manifesting confidence and nothing but utter love for your body, as it is, in its rawness. Here’s how the law of attraction works; if you can think it, you can create it. So, if you’re there dancing and touching your body, thinking about how much you despise the layer of fat on your lower abdomen, that will only attract more negative thoughts on why you shouldn’t feel confident about loving your naked body. Draw less attention to the things that bother you and feel. Feel the texture as you run your hands through your body and let your mind be filled with kind thoughts; your heart warmed up with love and appreciation for your body.
- Learn to enjoy sex without feeling insecure about how your partner finds your naked body.
Instead of worrying about what the person under you/on top of you/beside you or 69-ing you thinks about your naked body features, allow yourself to delve deeper into the divine connection that occurs during sex. Be in the moment and know that it is entirely okay to be vulnerable with someone. Note that you are not the ego you’ve created. You are more than the money problems, more than the wealth, more than just an employee at your overly demanding job, more than what you do to fit into the social construct. Embrace the fact that you are a spiritual being in physical manifestation. Let all your worries outside the door so you can accommodate vulnerability and allow the flow of good energy.
- Surround yourself with like-minded people when it comes to body positivity.
Suppose it’s about sexual and romantic connection. In that case, I suggest you wait till you find that one person who accommodates your vulnerability, does not limit how expressive you want to be and, most importantly, makes you feel safe, loved and at ease. The same goes for friends and family– you don’t want to set yourself up for failure if your goal is to love your body the way it is, so please, avoid people who utter reckless and unwelcome comments about your body image or other peoples’. If they can body shame someone else in your presence, what’s to stop them from body shaming you? Do not allow your body positive mentality to be compromised.