Given the roller-coaster that is life, no relationship is meant to be easy, but putting in an effort directed towards maintaining a healthy relationship is quite simple. Now in my case, ‘my love’, soon as he bagged my love, he started to slack in the effort.
In his book, Everything Is Fucked, Mark Manson describes unconditionality in Philosopher Immanuel Kant’s words, “you must treat humanity never merely as a means, but always as an end itself.” What this translates to is, we must not use people (the humanity in them; their values and virtues) as stepping stones towards achieving our selfish desires.
Sometimes the mind can be like a roller coaster, taking you through the highs and lows of the past, present, and fears of the future. It helps to look within and ask yourself, “what am I thinking now?” “What am I feeling?” This act of introspection brings you back into alignment, into the present moment, and ultimately makes you more self-aware.
Break free from the constant need to chase something outside of yourself to feel worthy, connected and/or happy. You will see that the only constant happiness there is, is the only one that emanates from within. Other people and personal achievements can only add to your state of being; but should never take sole responsibility for it, because then, you give away control. A mindful state of being is where one is in complete alignment with the Cosmos. In this state, it is clear that we are all part of an entity bigger than our disillusioned individuality. In a mindful state of being, there’s that blissful feeling of oneness; feeling connected and in great harmony.
Don’t be too hard on yourself- I’m not saying you won’t make some decisions you’ll whine about later because you might; I’m just saying, if that happens, breathe in-breathe out and focus on what’s within your control. Can you change the decision or its outcome? If yes, then hurray for you- but if not, try some damage control approaches. Always focus your energy on thoughts that propel you forward;